John Travolta needs to quit it with the dead cats on his head. Everyone knows that he's as bald as Brit Brit's vagina and just as rancid. Besides the split-wave went out in the 80s. He is so gay that it's burning rainbows into my eyes. He looks like he sings showtunes for old queens at a tired drag bar in the West Village on Sunday afternoons.
Katie Holmes needs to take a good look at Kelly Preston, because that's her in 10 years. A Stepford twit who refuses to see the fact that her husband is gayer than a sorcerer princess cat. Seriously, that princess cat is a sorcerer.
Here's Johnny with Kelly and Kirstie Alley at the Hollywood Awards. Kirstie looks like she's spanxed to death. Can she even breathe?
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