Golden Celebrity

Yesterday, we received a breathless report, subject heading: “What is going on?!!?,” from an operative who described, quite vividly, a “fat white guy dressed in blue spandex, a fake black beard, blue double beer helmet, and [holding] a sign” standing outside of Paradigm’s offices. Sadly, no photo was provided, and so we were left to [...]

For all TMZ’s gloating about thoroughly chapping ABC’s hide by printing a leaked list of Dancing With The Stars contestants, it seems the network merely made the site its pawn in its cunning game of lies: That roster was fake, and the actual cast was revealed today. Notably absent is the one person — Lou [...]

The inevitable Miss Teen South Carolina T-Shirts: Not the obvious choices, such as “Team Miss Teen S.C.,” or “Free U.S. Americans,” but a handsome effort nonetheless. [dreamdogsart]

News outlets are buzzing that Leona “Queen of Mean” Helmsley left her scabby lapdog Trouble $12 million, but cut two of her four grandchildren out completely. Approached for a quote, the white Maltese gnawed on the end of the microphone before relieving itself on a Louis XVI chesterfield. [Reuters]

You didn’t actually think you’d be able to start your day without one of those depressing Owen Wilson: After the Attempt round-ups, did you? No–we didn’t think so.
· This is “Kate’s Nightmare,” declares Us magazine’s cover in 450-point type, all but dwarfing the pink box above it reminding readers of Wilson’s tangential involvement. They report [...]